(360) – YELLOW


Coldplay_Yellow

I did not want to play the song, I knew I’d lose my mind, evoke so many memories and awaken even more hopes but I could not resist the urge; it makes me feel alive, makes me feel YELLOW…

Coldplay is my favorite band this summer. I never thought I’d like them as much. However, on the day of my flight to NY I downloaded the song A Sky Full of Stars, did not know why, it just felt perfect at that moment. On the airplane, I found myself playing more hits by them especially that latter mentioned one, I was soaring among the stars, it was for real…

Everyday in NYC, I played Coldplay, loved them, admired their music, they made my unforgettable trip nicer, they accompanied me to many places around the city and was always playing, if not in the car, then in the background of my mind…

20150520_150310

 

I came back home, could not listen to them anymore. At first, the music would hurt me, it lasted this way for a while but as I figured out things, I decided this should be a motive, not something to hold me back.

Today, I played Yellow, turned up the volume, and up until it was deafening, I sang along, I danced in the car while driving, everybody was looking at me wondering how crazy I am but none of them could feel the heat in my heart, the flow of energy in my body and the amount of strength I’ve got at that particular moment… God…

 

Advertisements

(351) – AMEN!


“Refuse to complain. Complaining is just a way of not taking responsibility, justifying doing nothing and programming yourself to fail. Complaining creates the illusion that you have done something. Instead, pour your energy into improving your situation. When you find ways to be productive and maintain a sense of optimism, you demonstrate that you are in control of your own life.

Complainers focus on what has happened, giving up their power. Winners focus on making things happen and using their power to find solutions to their challenges. You were born to create something magnificent with your life!! Solution-based thinking gives you that power. You have something special. You have GREATNESS within you!!” – Les Brown 

(346) – My Bad Experience At The Gym


I don’t know whether or not I should be sharing this story in public because my friends and people are beginning to read my blog and the thing I’m going to talk about today is somehow not acceptable though it’s a fact.

5 years ago, I decided to start working out at the gym, lifting weights and build a muscular strong body. I admired the idea of a well-shaped as well as good-looking body and that was one of the reasons, so I started exercising without a second thought of what’s coming next. Honestly, it was such a new experience because at the gym you get to discover new limits of your abilities and it’s a good measure to someone’s determination.

However, I had a problem, some call it a problem and some not but for me it was and still is a problem. I am addicted to masturbation; yes, I’m a man of an aroused fantasy and for some reason this is not a good thing to brag about. It usually takes 3 – 4 months at the gym to notice the difference and your muscles actually start to grow up noticeably. I’d been there for 10 months and could barely see a slight difference. Well, the only thing I was doing wrong or let’s say obsessively was masturbation; many friends of mine disagreed with the idea saying this is something natural and there’s no study that’s proven it’s right or wrong but I did read once that it drains the body from the protein needed to build the muscles. Plus, we all know that it takes a lot of energy to masturbate even more than real sex and that was it; I’ve been battling with this since then.

Last month I decided again to go back to the gym again, face my fears and try to control this little annoying habit. I gave in, easily. I could not stop myself, I was having a hard time avoiding the entire idea of not doing it when I suddenly realized how much I need to do it differently this time so I won’t fail, I mean there must be something wrong with what I do as an individual because after all I read in books about self-management and the daily motivation I truly enjoy, I can’t seem to help myself out, there must to be something wrong, this can’t keep damaging me for good, it’s time to stand up for myself and that’s what I have been struggling with for quite a long time…

I have the time and a real intention to succeed, to overcome my inner fears of failure at the gym again. I want it so bad yet so afraid of another withdrawal in a week or maybe less!

So… Ok, I’m going to do it differently this time. To be continued…

(343) – Thing is…


The first thing that hit me after graduation was money; I needed the money so bad because it gives me options and a variety of things I always wanted to enjoy. Well, my dad gave me the money I needed after I worked with him at the office for almost a month which means I’m now financially secure. I also live with my family at the same house so I don’t have to worry about food or shelter which leaves me completely comfortable and restful, at least so far.

Actually, that made me consider my future and the job market in particular; I thought to myself that I don’t want to look for a job now just like my friends or people in general do here in Jordan simply because I don’t want to be like them, like anyone else. I have always been different so why can’t I just take a little rest after spending 5 years at school and just have fun 24/7.

Well, every time a friend calls me, they ask whether or not I’ve got a job and question my future plans for the job I have in mind. Honestly, I don’t share the truth with them, I am afraid of telling them that I do want to rest now and that i’m not interested in what everyone else is doing because that wouldn’t be accepted. I don’t really care if they don’t accept it yet have no idea why I just don’t tell them!

I read a lot of books and articles on general subjects including management, leadership, psychology, motivation… There’s a lot of thinking going inside my head and I feel like I’m unable to determine, to figure out if what I’m doing is right or wrong because I need to start working, I need to gain the experience, yet I don’t want to just do it for the sake of it or because I have to do it.

I don’t want it to be fear that’s holding me back or uncertainty. I don’t want to be eluding or misguiding myself not knowing what or where exactly I want to be. I don’t want to be avoiding risks and growth because I truly am not but thing is -just like everyone else- I  don’t want to be a common man…

(339) – Monday Motivation


“Embrace every possibility to move beyond the problems of today, the regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow. Stay present to the opportunities around you and what can be done right now. Stamp out worry, shake off disappointments and set-backs, clear your mind and lunge forward into your unfolding future.

Trust that the road ahead will be better than anything in the past. Tap into your power and expand your imagination for what is possible. Broaden your skills, increase your knowledge and upgrade your strategy. Commit to creating a life that demonstrates your gifts, your passion and your greatness. This is your time! You have GREATNESS within you!!” — Les Brown

 
Preaching is easy but actions are what really matters. I’ve been trying to stand up for myself and start over after graduation, many dreams and hopes for the future yet no actions at all. It happened to me yesterday that I might not as productive as I think I am. Also, I found out that I’m very dependent though I don’t seem to. The thing that tops it all was my realization that too many people around me who have no idea about motivation and self-help are making a good progress in their lives unlike me. I don’t mean to compare but to measure the and figure out the difference in terms of taking action between those who know and who don’t.
After a long conversation with one of my dearest friends yesterday, he told me that I have got to get moving, right now. He said “work on two goals everyday; not more, not less. Make calls, inquire, visit places and see people. You’re seeking self-development so do what it takes and you shall grow up”
Honestly, I needed the sound of the truth and needed someone to say it to me. Our perception of things around us is not necessarily right or wrong but somehow grey or vague or blurry. I mean we realize the big facts but partially shocked or inept to take any actions, that’s why it’s imperative to have friends and go after what we want at full pace.
Let’s get started, everyone of us…

(337) – STAND UP FOR YOURSELF


stand_up_for_yourself_by_beyondimpression-d36l3dt

It really saddens me how fast time is going by yet too slow. It’s all relative in such a blurry way I don’t actually get.

What freaks me out most is the fact that “I” know the truth, know what I want but not showing up, not doing what it takes to make it all come true.

Not having the friends I need is making me lonely but loneliness ain’t my source of pain, it’s actually the joy of being lonely because it pushes me to do some stuff I really could do without trying to prove to myself “I am not lonely”…

My mind is now occupied with the thought of “standing up for myself” and how to stop that undesired flow of negative energy. All I am asking of myself is a little bit of control over such bad habits I’ve developed over the last few years.

I’m all feeling well at the moment, a bit excited as well so I owe you a post when I’m going wild; it’s happening so much these days!