(343) – Thing is…


The first thing that hit me after graduation was money; I needed the money so bad because it gives me options and a variety of things I always wanted to enjoy. Well, my dad gave me the money I needed after I worked with him at the office for almost a month which means I’m now financially secure. I also live with my family at the same house so I don’t have to worry about food or shelter which leaves me completely comfortable and restful, at least so far.

Actually, that made me consider my future and the job market in particular; I thought to myself that I don’t want to look for a job now just like my friends or people in general do here in Jordan simply because I don’t want to be like them, like anyone else. I have always been different so why can’t I just take a little rest after spending 5 years at school and just have fun 24/7.

Well, every time a friend calls me, they ask whether or not I’ve got a job and question my future plans for the job I have in mind. Honestly, I don’t share the truth with them, I am afraid of telling them that I do want to rest now and that i’m not interested in what everyone else is doing because that wouldn’t be accepted. I don’t really care if they don’t accept it yet have no idea why I just don’t tell them!

I read a lot of books and articles on general subjects including management, leadership, psychology, motivation… There’s a lot of thinking going inside my head and I feel like I’m unable to determine, to figure out if what I’m doing is right or wrong because I need to start working, I need to gain the experience, yet I don’t want to just do it for the sake of it or because I have to do it.

I don’t want it to be fear that’s holding me back or uncertainty. I don’t want to be eluding or misguiding myself not knowing what or where exactly I want to be. I don’t want to be avoiding risks and growth because I truly am not but thing is -just like everyone else- I  don’t want to be a common man…

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2 thoughts on “(343) – Thing is…

  1. You’re anything but a common man, my friend. You are special and unique, to say the least. I’m happy that you’re secure enough to enjoy a well-earned respite. When your friends begin questioning your intentions, don’t hesitate to tell them exactly how you feel. Believe me when I tell you that it is exhilarating and liberating! There’s also the bonus of shocked expressions and sputtering by the recipient. Later, when he’s recovered himself somewhat and begins to give you unsolicited advice on how you should be living your life, quietly remind him that “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations, sadeqi.”

    Enjoy yourself for a bit before joining the work force. Relax and assess your possibilities, and for the god’s sakes, cut loose and have some fun! I miss you, habibi!

    • I do trust you my dear friend and always remember your words. Sometimes I can’t see their real effect on the long term but I am sure I won’t be deceived.

      I just figured out something from your comment you probably have been trying to deliver to me and that is to praise my small achievements, to appreciate them even if they’re not the things I like most about my life, just like graduation for example.

      Thank you for being a great friend Jim, I will never ever forget that about you. Regards to Zeek and family! Have a nice weekend. 🙂

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