I’m trying to look at the full half of the cup or let me say that I’m trying to fill it up, even a little bit and look at the full part of it.
The more I go to university, the shittier things get in my head especially with more contact with my doctors. Many if not most of them tend to threaten us that we may not graduate or get the grade that we want. We are not genius at school, we don’t want straight A’s, all we’re asking for is a D or a D+ -that could be the reason why we ended up struggling for a D-.
I wake up every night in the late hours thinking of school, the amount of studying and graduation. I am working hard but the results still need some time to show up. It’s stressful and worrisome especially when there’s no one to comfort you but i’m trying to eliminate it all from my mind, ignore my demons and do what I should be doing away from pessimism and what ifs.
I was at school today talking to my friends who are expected to graduate too next month; everyone’s so afraid and worried, we all want to finish and move on in our lives, we’ve been working hard for 5 years now to get to this moment but thanks to our doctors who, as I mentioned earlier, are threatening us. Doctors think education in Jordan is now a mess and nobody deserves the degree they got but they don’t think of blaming themselves for such shameful results because they are the responsible ones for such result. They think they can fix us, the seniors at school when they’re should be focusing on the freshmen but again it’s not my business to discuss.
I like to think of this stage in my life as short, temporary but fruitful. It’s overthinkng that’s killing me but it shall not, anymore!