The only definition of fear I used to know was fear of dark places, weird creatures like those in horror movies and anything out of this world, something we can’t see but feel. Well, reading opened my eyes to wider aspects of fear, that fear is not only a feeling you get when in dark places or during the night. You may experience it anytime during the day because it’s a feeling like any other one but what makes it special is its phenomenal power to control us and deviate us from the reason behind all that we feel which is fear itself.
Apparently, there’s nothing called negativity or depression. There’s nothing called “I can’t” or “I don’t want” it’s most likely fear; fear of facing the truth, the reality and change the current situation.
Last winter, I was seriously sick and couldn’t feel any better at meds. My doctor said it was only stress and that I have to relax. I used to search Google every night trying to diagnose myself and see what this thing I feel might be. I was afraid I’d get a heart attack and die, I was afraid I’d have cancer and I was afraid of too many things you can never think of. That made me change from the inside out; I became a completely different person showing only the good peaceful side of me, accepting whatever there is and never objected. My mom could feel the change, she didn’t like it. She knew it was temporary and that the soon I feel better I’ll be back to my old character and she was right. It was all fear; fear of death, fear of school, fear of facing my sickness and fear of the world in general because I refused the situation I was in.
One of the best techniques I remember reading about was giving your fear the space and see how weak it is. Well, you have no idea how true as well as right that statement is.
One day, I sat silently waiting for my fears to happen to me, I waited and waited but nothing showed up. I did repeat that over and over again, the result was always the same, silence. At that moment, I realized how powerful our fears can be IF only we give them the chance to control us. Some things are better be ignored and kept away from the mind; you don’t have to think much of your fears, just let it go. If it comes again, face it, speak up and show how powerful you are.
Fear is not only the rush of adrenaline in your body but every feeling of inconvenience and weakness. We don’t owe this world around us, it owes us because you’re adding to it.
Having said all that, I am pleased to admit that I’m afraid of my first final exam next Monday which is the reason behind this post. I don’t sleep well these days, thinking all the time of “what if” I get an F and have to spend 4 months more at college, God forbid, it’ll be the end of the world. LOL! But no, I am studying hard, I believe I am going to make it and graduate next month if God wills it. Trust me, this kind of self-talk does work most of the times!