I still remember that moment very clearly when Chris Gardner gets the jobs rushing to the street while holding his hands up to the sky saying “this part of my life is called happyness”.
I get to feel the same 5 times a week this semester. My life begins when I am away from everything’s related to my studying and/or being an engineer. This semester, I have classes two days a week, 9 hours each and a training course at a company -which is part of the curriculum- 3 days a week. I no longer go to my training site because it’s such an endlessly boring place and nobody cares if I go or not but still I have to attend my classes where I get to feel happy, relieved and thrilled by the end of it after spending a whole day engineering! You have no idea how delightful I feel by the end of the day; I run to catch a bus and go back home.
I hate to be reminded of my studying, I hate when I have to study, I hate when I have an exam and hate even more when I get low marks. You have no idea how upsetting it is to me when I have to study. I open the books, stare for a moment and feel miserable… I don’t want to do this, I truly don’t. I’d rather be learning something useful, something has to do with the real world, something I can relate to and love instead of all these mathematical equations and meaningless numbers. Nonetheless, I still have to study and bear with this situation I am in.
I believe there’s a good amount of shit we have to deal with at some point in life and engineering may be my share. I don’t hate being an engineer as much as I do hate wasting the most precious gift I have, time, and that’s why I am struggling to graduate and find better stuff to do.
I will try to focus on writing more in the upcoming days till I graduate, hopefully. I need to dump all this misery on WordPress and vent, it’s bittersweet when you know you have no choice but to do it…