Then, there’s this strange moment when you grab your mobile phone waiting for a text message, a call, a notification or any kind of poke from the one you love. It does not have to be such an eternal love; it might be merely an affection, affinity, a smiley face or a warm heart you once trusted and confided in.
You play the same old songs over and over again attempting to bring back that feeling you once felt; deep, firm and for real. The feeling never shows up, nor do the memories. You go to the same places you used to meet at, repeat the same talk, look at your pictures together but nothing’s relieving as much as his voice.
Every night, you go to sleep and wake up in the morning thinking of him; today he’d apologize and we’ll be able to share the laughter but he never does. You start forgetting about him gradually because your dignity is superior than your love when suddenly, he calls…
You are silent..
“can you hear me? how you been?”
“I been okay”
“I miss you darling”
you need to say how much you miss him,
“I thought I’d say hi and check up on you…”
He now knows something’s wrong with you; you’re not the same person he used to know but still can’t, maybe doesn’t want to admit…
“okay honey, I’m one phone call away if needed anything”
you are shocked now thinking silently “he’s leaving now, is it over?” you know you won’t poke back…
“okay, have a nice day” and so you end the call.
You’re full of pride now, he’s got what he deserves. “But I miss him” talking to yourself softly. “your dignity is worth it. The world is full of people, don’t lose yourself” an inner voice replies back at you.
He calls back in a few days and you get distracted all over again…