(283) – Just Sayin’


Our biggest concern as humans is to pursue what makes us happy and live it. We spend years and years of hard work to get to that moment when dreams come true and we feel happy but what’s next? how do we know it’s the right moment? how can we recognize it if it’s the right one and we’re not misleading ourselves? then, how should we act? behave? what does happiness include? how do I know if i’m really happy or not? does it come exactly like you want it? or with a bit more?

The moment i’m talking about occurred to me today but I couldn’t recognize it until I got home and settled down. Thinking back early in the morning, I was just feeling happy, smiling and laughing carelessly because it felt so nice that I couldn’t think of anything else except focusing on the moment. It’s like getting what you’ve been dreaming about for ages so suddenly and all at once. You’re given a chance to live a temporary short but memorable moment you may never enjoy again.

My moment was basically admiring someone with everything I like in one person; charisma, kindness, respect and confidence. I felt infinite but got back home upset with no idea why! However, this person has got a little bit more than that; I was asked to do something I disagree with, yet I’m now given the space to mull it over. I don’t know what to do, I don’t even know the point of my post but I’m just feeling like I NEED to let it go…

Well, sometimes we’re given a small opportunity to taste and sense success; I don’t know… I don’t seem to know anything tonight…

(282) – Agony


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One of the nicest things I like about English is the variety of meaningful words English speakers use and when I say speakers, I mean writers, authors and rappers, Eminem in particular.

I remember when I first wanted to practice writing, I didn’t know what to write about so I did a quick search on topics to write about and the first thing came out was “description”, it wasn’t an easy one, to say the least. I needed more words, adjectives and adverbs. I didn’t know how to think of them, how to look around and describe, I didn’t see a thing that’s worth the description, it all was usual and ordinary but maybe that’s the beauty of it; describing the small things we see everyday.

Learning English opened my eyes to my native language which is Arabic; it’s such an old beautiful language to learn. We have lots of poems and stories but nobody reads or even encourages you to read. Our language is completely abandoned and that’s why we ended up in the bottom. The daily language depends on slang, and slang only. If you use a powerful word, your friends will mock you for being weird, and they’ll remind you of it every time someone else speaks a similar word. Storytelling doesn’t have a place in our lives no more; the mom doesn’t read to her kids before sleep and teachers don’t care about composition except the fact that you can never get a full mark in writing if you know what I mean.

Well, reading a lot of books these days, I feel like bearing an untold story, yet can’t put it into words. I don’t like to be misunderstood or not be able to express my thoughts clearly because it’s a long way of processing them in mind, they deserve to be spoken out. Today, I’m remembered of Maya Angelo’s words, “there’s no greater agony than bearing an untold story”. This journey I began almost three years ago to learning more languages and writing a book will continue and I shall be able to write like sophisticated writes and tell my story even if nobody reads it.

(281) – Places I need To Visit In USA


One of the countries that top my bucket list is USA; I like the variety of cultures, places and climate there. I think it’s like 50 countries in one big country that ensures you everything you want or need to see, live and enjoy.

The problem with USA is the visa and since i’m Arab it’s even more difficult to get there unless I have money, and I mean lots of money. However, this doesn’t stop me and I believe I will visit there soon if God wills it, just a matter of time.

Today, as I was working on an article about the best places to visit in America, I found this blog on Buzzfeed and it sort of summed up the whole search for me. Today, I’m adding all these places to my bucket list, I have one more dream to make come true. No words can describe the beauty of the pictures, I hope you make time to check them out carefully, all of them.

 

29 Surreal Places In America You Need To Visit Before You Die

 

(280) – Dolores Claiborne


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“Once a mother, always a mother” even when Selena came back home after 15 years smoking, drinking alcohol and taking drugs in front of her mother, the mother didn’t stop loving her little daughter even more.

I didn’t think the movie would be that good, it has a radiant sense of truth. It made me even more insisted on believing in ultimate justice, the justice of God because no matter how hard you try to tell the truth sometimes, maybe you’re just not destined to tell it or people will have no mercy on you to let you tell the truth.

Dolores reminds me of my mom, probably every mom. Moms’ only priority is their kids, yet we grow up hard on them leaving them die alone or at least living alone pretending to have a life. I do that, you do that, we all do that.

I’ve been trying to see the world through both perspectives; Dolores and her daughter, I couldn’t blame the mom because she was always the one to sacrifice, yet the daughter didn’t give herself the space to make a right decision and was most often emotionally driven.

As for Vera, sometimes age freaks me out. Future cannot be guaranteed; nobody likes to be left alone or disabled. Well, the only time to decide how we want to spend the future is now, through making the right decision and that’s another thing I personally worry about; I’m afraid of making wrong decisions just like the ones we hear about every day. I have no idea how a man can be fair to himself, his family and people in general. Perhaps, it comes by experience, education or most likely reading books? we’re yet to know!

(279) – Get Busy Reading


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Today I was reviewing my resolutions for the current year, it had both good and bad news. The good news is that I’m doing a great job with most of the resolutions I put for the year including university, adopting new useful habits and getting busy living. The bad news is that I’ve finished 6 books only out of 16! It was shocking, to say the least.

I’ve been ignoring my books for quite a long time now or let me say I don’t finish what I start. Last month, I decided to start reading The Art Of Seduction which is the kind of books I love but I stopped after the first chapter. I borrowed Les Miserables on Saturday and still didn’t start reading it…

Well, the new year of 2015 is only 70 days away, I probably still have plenty of time if only I commit and that’s why I decided to get few smaller books to read. Also, I will be reading more than one book at the same time which should be challenging yet awesome experience.

 

 

(278) – Do What You Love


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I’ve been thinking about today’s post the whole evening and here’s the thought showing up at last.

For some reason, we live according to a timetable here in Jordan starting from high school, university, good paying job, marriage, kids and so on… Almost everyone’s here unsatisfied about their jobs. Sometimes they get paid very good salaries, yet still unhappy because someone they know gets paid even more, so the goal here is not satisfaction but a matter of money. Honestly, I avoid the money talk with my people and friends because we all agree on the fact that it cannot buy happiness “but it’ll make you feel better” that’s what they’d say and that’s completely foolish because as long as you’re working in something you don’t like or just because it’s supposed to be making you lots of money, you shall never feel happy, at least that’s my opinion.

I have a training course at a company this semester, I go three days a week, the engineers there help me with the terms, introduce me to different machines and help in all possible ways.

I used to think engineering would make more sense to me when it comes to practice but that’s not true, at least so far. I don’t feel like it’s where I want to spend my life, struggling to get an interview or a better contract. I may be wrong but that’s what I’m feeling, now!

I’m actually afraid of changing my mind because I may fail at something else and go back to my old specialty when it’s too late but fear isn’t an excuse and failure is never wrong if you decide to learn from it.

My point is that do what you love, what you admire because nothing will stop in your face or impede your progress. I’m still not sure of my career or my future. I’m focusing on graduation now and discovering as many aspects of life as I can. I’m trying to be a freethinker putting all kinds of prejudice aside and take the rational path. Things will make a perfect sense the soonest I hope!