My society without a shadow of doubt is male dominant. Our male uses his muscles to rule not his mind which makes me confused all the time because what Allah desires is mind and heart, not just muscles.
Our very mistaken concept of manhood makes things even worse. People think you need to prove to everyone else around you that you are masculine. The word “masculine” in our own terms means to be courage, fearless and most often nervous. That sounds acceptable but you also have to have a rough voice -always shouting-, a tense kind of walk, a serious laugh as well as a bizarre hair and clothing style that should meet the society’s standards. What’s more? your hobbies and interests; you should at least smoke cigarettes, play cards, watch soccer, drive insanely fast and always hit on girls in the street.
Well, i’m not like that at all; my interests are very different, my attitude is not what they expect of me which in turns affect my lifestyle and thinking. I don’t usually get easily along with my friends because I seem to be coming from a different planet, not that I am weird or an outcast but I really don’t like how guys my age spend their time. Even the older generation, many if not most of them are lost, everyone’s talking about money and/or girls all the time. We all have sexual needs, especially in a country like mine but that’s the default situation, what am I supposed to do? They just don’t stop complaining and asking for more. Even worse, if you’re not like the ones you deal with, you’re not from them and won’t be accepted unless you convert.
I get called names by my brother sometimes, by my friends and extended family. They think i’m just a lunatic boy, immature with psychic problems. Some friends think I still need to grow up and so on.
What i’m trying to say is that it’s not about how you look like, your voice tone, your walk or your fears. It’s not even what others want you to be but what you have in mind including every word you say and every action you take. To be a real man or let me say to be “real” is what matters. Masculinity is relative but MATURITY is when you grow up and become independent in your own thoughts and deeds. Again, we do not need more males but real humans, thinkers and doers.