(191) – Fantasies and Dreams

Friendship is love with understanding. Love is when you realize you’ve fallen in love and understanding is obvious from the first conversation with your new friend.

Recently, I’ve met a friend from Germany who’s kind, caring, and friendly. I can vaguely remember our first chat or why we decided to exchange emails and keep in touch but it is what it is, apparently. My new friend let me in, was very welcoming and willing to let this friendship survive. I could get the hint, I knew there was something serious about to begin.

We spent the weekend talking about each other, getting to know more about the experiences we’ve been through, about what we like and dislike, hobbies, food, movies and everything new friends would talk about. Very early, we knew we’d love to share many events and adventures together. We talked about best lovely scenes we want to live with our beloved ones describing little details and wishing for the best. We told one another it’s doable and workable, just a matter of stubbornness to let it happen and be for real.

At some point, we began to talk seriously and I could live the moment. My imagination took off and fantasies followed. I said I’d love to hug and cuddle, to take care of our garden together, to do the most beautiful things in the world together. My friend agreed and said there are even more moments we need to share; laying on the grass, sitting on the beach while talking about random stuff, dancing and drinking together and much more. The best part is that no one of us disagreed with the other. On the contrary, we were both trying to complete each other and find a way to be happy though it was merely a chat. My friend and I clicked and got along quickly. We have pure and good intentions; we don’t want any of us to be hurt, that’s why we’re alert not to be emotionally attached because we never know if we will ever be under the same roof.

Generally speaking, do these things happen in the real world? Two guys meet randomly, fall in love then meet and live happily together? Am I going too far or being desperate for a dear friend? I can assure you neither one of us is looking for a relationship or marriage, we’re both still young to be married but it’s true friendship that we’re looking out for. How do we make this dream come true? Or how do we make sure it’s a dream not just a fantasy we’re fooling ourselves with? are we just being too optimistic about life? Is it worth it to keep taking risks and bet high on friends?

I’m very confused with relationships and love. I don t believe in any so friendship is what I think I need. Sex as well confuses the hell out of me. I took my highest bet on someone I thought would be all life by my side but high expectations usually fool us. I would rather love my new friend as a “friend” not a lover, we may have a higher chance growing up with each other.


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