(186) – Dearest Friend,

When we first met, I did want nothing but to see you happy, always. We got along, shared many memories and experiences, you asked me one thing and I was very serious to let it happen, it was my challenge, my mission. It happened, and you left me alone. I was not sad or mad at you, I knew you were happy which I was really thankful for but don’t you remember or just think that I’d want you to add something to me? to take care of me and help me on my biggest dream? the one I’d told you about endless times? why didn’t you think of me? of what I need? of my dreams? of my future? of who I am or who I want to be? I don’t think that’s selfish of you because you’re not. I’d call it carelessness and narrow-mindness.

You don’t have any idea what I’ve been through to behave in such a way, the way I was today; funny, satisfied, confident and not attached to you. It took me many long nights of coping with your love. I could overcome this wall I’d built with your name on it. I built it and then smashed it into earth. I can’t be the same person I used to be or have share the same old emotions even if you need me. I don’t want you to help me, just want to let you know that I’ve done my best and not it’s time for me to move on and meet someone else. I am not waiting for people to help me, God is up in the sky asking if there’s poor people, so He helps them.

Today, I am more confident, experienced and sophisticated. It’ll cost me one step out of my comfort zone to get what I want, I’ll take two and see what the future holds this time.


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