(088) – Third Winter

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world” — Harriet Tubman —

Last year was second winter and things were way improved than it used to be during first winter. My friend who left his father’s fortune behind, two years ago, and decided to live on his own, making his own fortune and seeking his own vision is now going through the third winter in a row with bigger dreams, yet stronger challenges and fears.

I remember when we first met, he only wanted to get married and have kids, it was his ultimate dream. I used to tell him it’s not what you should aim and look out for; you’ll surely get married one day and it’s going to be a daily routine no matter how thrilled you’d be with your wife. That moment when we are longing for something especially emotional, we’ll never suppose it would be true one day, accordingly, I think he didn’t believe me back then.

This particular friend wanted to get a new car, a decent job and establish a successful business. He wanted to prove to his dad and family that he’s self-reliant and independent.  Again, I was telling him to be himself and succeed for himself. I wanted him to do it because he is free and that he deserves to dream big. When he got engaged, he wanted to lose weight because of his fiancé but that was completely wrong; he should’ve made that decision because of himself, because obesity is not healthy and he better remains thin. Pathetically enough, he’s fattened up after marriage, even though I can sympathize with him.

2013 was a generous year with him; he got married and he’s very happy with his wife. I have never seen him as happy in spite of his miserable financial situation. I remind him of the old days, when he used to sleep alone in a one room apartment and take shower once a week for the lack of hot water. I remind him of the long distances we used to walk to save up the money of the cab.

Basically, that sounds good but I don’t think he’s completely satisfied or happy about what he ended up with although it’s all he wanted one day. I mean what’s next after marriage and kids? Or even after a decent job? Money, spacious houses, cars? There’s a very good question I like to always keep myself aware of; will I be happy then when all my plans work out? Am I really pursuing the right thing?

9 thoughts on “(088) – Third Winter

    • Don’t you think there should be a bigger purpose? I mean everyone mostly gets married and get kids but not everyone ends up happy.

      I’m still single and don’t know what it really means to have kids and a wife, so maybe you’re right.

      • The way I read this, it sounds like a movie. Life isn’t always easy. Making a marriage work and providing for your family through thick and thin is work. Things get in the way sometimes and make life harder. Marriage is no cake walk. While you’re managing all that, you must remember kindness, thoughtfulness and forgiveness. 🙂

      • I agree with all you say. You know what, people here in my area, after they graduate from university, the first thing they do is looking for a job, start saving up money for the marriage, find a decent girl and repeat the same life their parents have been through! that what confuses me; I don’t want to follow the crowd. I know marriage isn’t an easy task, it’s a whole life and kids are the beauty of it but i’m talking about a principle, a lifestyle, a perspective. Hope you get what I mean. Thanks for commenting, I really like it when you comment, it scares me! LOL 🙂

      • I understand where you are coming from and having had a taste of another world, I’m not surprised you want something more. That is the beauty of youth. Always wanting something better and that is how our world improves. 🙂

  1. if you are not sure of your direction, consider whatever you are doing as an incubation period.. but as a sailor leaving part, he has to have a destination or he will float around on the ocean in hopes that the wind blows him somewhere.. say, ‘i want to sail to this island..’ and while at that island perhaps there’s a connection that sends you elsewhere.. but you ahve to have a destination!

    as for your friend; i hope that he treats his wife well and cherishes who she is. if not, they will atrophy into a sad existence. i suspect your friend has a strong problem with ego -‘i’ll show HIM…’ and it’s not about ‘us’ it’s about our purpose e on the planet and about spreading happiness and goodwill and doing what is right. even a vendor selling ice cream can have a powerful effect on a person’s life – if it’s just the refreshing smile that he/she presents to each customer.. it might be the kindest gesture each person gets that day… one of those people might eventually play a powerful role in his future…

    don’t worry if there’s someone in your life or not.. think about your destiny – you’re here for a reason and have things to learn and teach… squeeze the most from each day, and you’ll find your destiny one step at a time!


    • your first paragraph has a poetry in it, you inspired me, you really did.

      As for my friend, on the contrary, he’s a leader and more of a giver, he’s very modest but this issue of marriage in particular has many details i couldn’t mention to clear up things because he reads my blogs every once in a while. Anyway, he does love his wife as no one ever did, he admires he attitude and now they’re waiting for the first baby.

      Yes, yes, I agree with you; we all are here for a purpose, to learn and teach, to give then take, it’s the pinnacle of joy to be a giver, amuser and someone who cheers up people and make them feel great.

      This is so kind of you, you made my day, i’m inspired! 😉

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