(078) – Am I giving up on you, darling?


“You see, the great gift we give others is the permission to change us. Please, enter my world, leave me bettered, leave me smarter, leave me more alive, but above all, change me. History is about how we change. History is about why we change. History is about what happens when we don’t, when we resist.” –The Heights, Peter Hedges–

 You entered my life and changed me. You made a better, a smarter and even more determined character out of me. You helped me being everything I wanted at some point in my life. We had fun and enjoyed each other’s company. The time we spent together will be kept in our minds until the last exhale. The time we spent thinking it’d be eternal is now history; we’ve both changed and become different persons. I know you still love me and I do you even more but this world with its burden is increasing the pressure on you and me.

Change has taken its place; we no longer can be together as much. I’ve been trying to evolve or adapt, to find a solution but it’s taking pieces of me. I want the old days to remain as they used to be; fun, laughter, care and pure love but you have your own commitments and I have dreams and passion to pursue. I hope we can achieve more together and be the successful dudes we always dreamt of but I have no idea. My thinking process stops at this point; I cannot imagine what it’s next. No matter how similar we look and we really are, yet our dreams and plans are way different.

Perhaps, we are meant to meet after a while or a turnaround in events is yet to happen, who knows?! Maybe it’s just a temporary phase or we’re envied for this love and fondness we have for each other? Don’t think it’s easy for me to write such a blog or confess this truth but I’d rather admit it and alter my direction before it’s too late.

Sometimes, I wonder why you weren’t exactly like me, or why you didn’t change to be like me so we can forever be together. But I respond to myself saying, “Had you been someone else, we would’ve never become those pretty dudes”.

Nevertheless, still I see charm in your eyes, hear melody in your voice and feel warmth in your hug… forgive me; I didn’t mean to hurt you!

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