Obviously enough, life’s karma; what goes around comes back around. You reap what you sow. Also, in order to take, you must at first give. I have no idea actually if you know the fact that I’m a very good listener; I tend to listen to people and they find it relieving to talk to me. Maybe it’s just my role to provide others with appropriate solutions and be a helper, always. The downside of it is that you cannot find someone to listen to you whenever you feel like talking. I mean in this certain issue tables have never turned and I became a talker.
Up to some extent, it’s bothered me and it was annoying; I wanted to speak loud, to make the world listen carefully. I’ve decided to talk and dictate my issues. I’ve tried many times especially with the ones I thought would help more but I ended up back to square one. I just couldn’t oppose my personality. Moreover, I tried online with pen-friends; chatting sometimes is good but I think I’m more capable to help others more than they can help me.
The feedback was truly unpleasant; the reflexes you mostly get are cold and don’t add any value. “I’ve been there” or “I know how it feels”. Those are the most expressions I have ever got as a response. Personally, I know that you know, the point is that I need to talk. Something inside is killing me as long as it’s unspoken. Why in the hell do I have to endure your complaints when you cannot give me five minutes of your time to listen to me? Why? Worse, when the closest one acts silently. Oh, the final straw.
Nevertheless, I’ve found out why; I’ve got my question answered without any verbal response. God just revealed it. Too many times I tried to talk to my friends telling them about my emotions and relationships. Telling them about the most heartbreaking stories I’ve been through but I was never appreciated. Nobody, in all honesty, gave me the needed reply. God did.
Our intimate relationships are better saved in our hearts. The good times and memories, the experiences and adventures we have been through should be kept in our minds and diaries. Only a notebook can give you what you need. Those words that you’d like to say are precious and priceless; nobody will ever be able to captivate them except the one who’d be ready to sacrifice his/her life to see you smiling and it’s not necessary be the same one who made you come out with these words. Those words’ value is indispensable; it’s the only thing that can make you happy when the world stands against you and the one you loved most leaves you. I genuinely know how it feels to be silent when your words are dying to be out but you fight and fight to keep them silent convincing yourself it could be worse. Reminding your ego of the old good memories you shared together.
Today, I believe that my words should be left unsaid because it’s the right thing to do. I’m not ready to be mocked or to get a very cruel response for the sake of giving me a fake smile. There comes a day when tables are turned and I start to reap, I start to win.