“This is one of those rare films in which almost everything works” – Blake French on Confidence
My passion for languages and writing, my fondness for my blog make me always eager and excited to see what other competent bloggers think of my writings. I am still a beginner in the world of writing, I don’t have a style, my ideas aren’t always connected together and the issues I discuss are often personal due to limited sources of inspiration and maybe my knowledge is somehow poor or simple.
However, one of the best moments during the day is the feedback; likes, comments and pingbacks. You’d never imagine how delighted I feel to see comments on my blog or many likes, to see that people really like what they read and can relate to the content. It’s relieving and makes me feel a great kind of achievement because this is me and this is who I want to be in the future.
Well, suddenly no likes or comments show up; I get no views on the blog and the doubt phase begins. Did I write something awful? Was I too prejudiced and biased so readers didn’t like it? Why is all that happening? What if the views stopped for good? Would my project fail? And so on…
That I call the doubt phase; too many questions start flowing in into my mind about failure and mistakes that I might’ve done and their effects on my journey. Honestly, sometimes I become so afraid and that I won’t be able to do it. It got me today to think about it ridiculously; I was thinking it’s merely a blog, how is it supposed to let me be the one I want to be? It’s such an easy thing to write and anybody else could do it but it’s not worth the try… I was so worried to say the least.
The movie Confidence as the quote goes, made me believe it’s all possible and can work out if it’s played with confidence. Also, reading other outstanding blogs to see how many bloggers could do it had something to do with my moral.
Admittedly, my writings aren’t that good, I need style, and so I am going to keep on reading and writing as much as I can. If it happens, then it’s meant to me. Otherwise, something else in the same field would be waiting, I’m pretty sure.
Many if not most of the qualities and traits we aspire to learn are divine qualities and here I’m talking about patience precisely. I’ve mentioned patience many times in my blogs and I will do even more because it has all the magic within.
As we all know, God is patient, hands down! Undoubtedly, He gives us many opportunities to correct our mistakes after pointing them out indirectly. He forgives and never judges our deeds until the moment we finish. He considers intentions more than actions. Doesn’t that all mean He’s patience? Isn’t it weird how the creator is merciful of his creatures despite what they do? It isn’t weird; it’s God’s glory and greatness.
On my way to university today, I was feeling very pleased, happy as well. Thankfully, my life is going well and there’s nothing to worry about. I am healthy, wealthy and satisfied. I have good family and friends. I look at people around me to see those with sicknesses. I see people with financial problems. Others are depressed and nothing seems to work out with them. On the contrary, I have nothing of what they do; we are completely fine at home. At the same time, I think I don’t deserve it; I’m not perfect and will never be. I do many bad deeds that God doesn’t allow, yet He’s so patient over me and is still giving me more of his blessings. I can imagine God up in the sky watching over me and ignoring willingly my bad deeds. He knows I have something good inside and waiting patiently until I feel his observation and change my path.
The fact that we distinguish right from wrong then we refuse to take action and change is really hurtful and biased. I see this every day, even myself; I confess I’m wrong but I’m not initiating to change and act in the right direction, don’t ask me why or how because I have no idea.
And God, thank you very much for your patience over us your poor worshipers. I deeply know you don’t want words, you want actions. Perhaps, I’m afraid of your tests if I get closer to you… Once again, send me your love and fear and I promise to be as you want me to be.
From the very beginning I knew it was going to be difficult, I knew it would absorb my thinking all the time trying to come up with the best ideas to post every day. I’m neither a good writer nor a good speaker, so one of the most repeated questions got to my mind before I started this journey was commitment; how am I going to commit to my blog? How am I going to commit to my followers and people who seem to support me through my project?
Since the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, I took this step; I published my first article and decided that I have to write on. I had too much thoughts and issues to write about but after a few posts I had found out if I continued this way, I wouldn’t have to be able to post anything after a month, so I had to change my routine, step out of my comfort zone and adjust the way I see things.
Every day I get a million thoughts; I write them down and even discuss some of them with my friends and colleagues. It’s awesome when you pay attention to the details and see more than what meets the eye. My friends got shocked when they knew I blog about our conversations, they didn’t expect it to say the least. However, sometimes though I have my content ready in mind, I don’t feel like writing or want to postpone until the next day. I think that’s supposed to be done once in a long time not multiple times a week. Accordingly, I push myself to write and challenge my swinging moods which’s taught me commitment; commitment to myself, my purpose and those who want me to do it. Till Graduation taught me also to disobey my innermost doubts and fears no matter how hard they might be.
Today, I am 50 steps closer to my graduation. Too many things have changed and my goal is getting clearer. I am learning invaluable lessons all the way long. My language is really improving, the time I take to finish my post is shrinking and my blog is unbelievably paying off. Commitment is what I need to let this blog flourish and get the best out of it.
Two years ago, when I met my best friend for the first time ever, he told me something that hit on my chord immediately though we didn’t know each other well back then. He said “it’s a big world and we aren’t the center of it”. This little thought has a wonderful kind of mystery in it especially for those who think they’re living alone on this planet. It also made me realize how small I am comparing to the world around me; there are many worthy people to be met and many landscapes to be seen. Somehow, it reminds me of humanity and the things that make sense and meaning for our lives instead of daily occurrences that are killing us a bit by bit.
My cousin got the opportunity to travel several times and discover the world around us. I saw him yesterday and we were talking about the same thing. He said “Ahmed, this world is big enough to make all our dreams come true; if you think it’d be difficult outside our country, then you’re absolutely wrong. People will be nice to you and glad to help not the other way round. You have to travel and your whole perspective will change like a shoot.” He added “the best moment of all is the plane; when you sit next to someone for hours talking about your backgrounds and traditions, it’s simply awesome.”
My favorite time during the day when I start reading multiple blogs on WordPress and see the pictures you fellow bloggers take for your countries and during your flights. It makes me eager and determined to travel and visit the same places. Moreover, I was introduced to new countries through your blogs that I never thought I’d like to go to like Ireland. This country is just amazing; there are lots and lots of places in Ireland to be seen. Also, weather there is unbelievable.
Today, I miss a lot; I miss new faces, new sights and views, new experiences and much more. Travel is one of my best plans to experience after graduation if all goes well.
My life is still not perfect or the way I want it to be. My ups are still very few and struggle seems to be my fellow all the way long but I’m not upset about it. I was supposed to share my 47th post yesterday but in all honesty, I was busy pleasing myself sinfully. Yes, I’ve done many things I shouldn’t do.
Well, these days when I’m sinful used to be very bad and destructive but today i’m learning how to pick up myself and start again. Since everything has its time, I’d like to say fun is over and it’s time to be back to serious and productive mode. No complains as long as our hearts beat. Have a wonderful day! 🙂