I sin, you sin, they sin, and we all sin. Sin is very normal but repeated sin is considered a problem. My sins have traditions; every time I sin, I take a bath meditating my situation under the hot water, I feel guilty and remorseful, yet an evil smile tries to thread its way to my face. I usually resist and hide it but it’s just a smile at the end of the day. The sin itself should be resisted but not the smile that follows.
Then, I go to sit by the window, counting the apparent stars and trying to talk to God. Meanwhile, I know I’m sinful and wrong, it’s not my first time, so I’d rather be polite and still instead of complaining. I pray for God, call him submissively to be with me when I feel weak. The night ends up with a new beginning that’s come usual now.
The other day, the devil ignites my imagination, my good side is very weak when it comes to seduction and we are back to square one.
When I’m done, a state of unconsciousness is felt, destructive thoughts come in, plans fall through, objectives vanish and my day turns into a very bad one.
Every one of us has weak spots, they’re usually a source of sin I’d guess. The question is how many times do we have to go on a new beginning that lasts only for less than a day? I know it’d be good to regret your sins but then what? Would I live like this forever? Can’t I live away from sins and be a good worshiper?
I have many dreams, my sins keep me distracted and confused all the time. No matter how hard I try to resist, they know me well apparently. What should I do? I wanna live, I wanna achieve!