(009) – Emotionally Starving!!!

Most of us agree on the fact that says “women are emotional and men are rational” but that doesn’t mean men have no emotions; it just means that emotions are not priorities to refer things back to. A man’s emotion is the most invaluable thing after dignity. Never dare and play with a man’s emotions, you can easily hurt him emotionally but you’ll have to endure what’s next.

I’ve been emotionally attached to many people through my life. Perhaps, as Billy Joel says I was so ambitious for a juvenile or a crazy child who wanted to fall in love at a time I didn’t know what love exactly means. However, it was really hurtful and painful especially when you have true love for the wrong person. You never know how it feels unless you are there. When in love, we are willing to be sincere, loyal, honest, supportive, motivational and always ready to sacrifice for the one we love. We are always on beck and call to help our beloved ones despite all kinds of problems we might have then. I, personally, tend to be extremely loyal in love, it gets me to a point where I stop eating and live only on water and love. The total mess comes when table turns, if you are with the wrong person, you’ll definitely be speechless. No any kind of help is offered. No hugs, kisses, rubs on shoulder or even one word. I proudly have been there… trust me, you don’t want to hear the rest of my story.

When the worse comes to the worst, our soul mates -that don’t share the same amount of love and care from their side- start taking us for granted; it becomes your duty and mission to make them feel good no matter how shitty they are. You become a part of their routine especially if you used to be supportive and helpful. Whenever they feel bad pessimistic and in need to talk, you surely get called. Once again, I have been there, I never minded to help and was always fulfilling my duty perfectly. I never left my friends sad and helpless; I was there even if I needed more help. It was between me and God, it was for a higher purpose but tables turned and I needed them, you know what? I didn’t find anyone. I knew they hide love and respect to me but how is that supposed to help? They never sacrificed for me nor did they make me their priority in complaining.

At such a time all we need is a hug, kiss or a listening ear. Hidden love and respect never made sense during conflicts. Today, I’m so reminded of my lost emotions, they did wander off and can barely find someone to welcome or at least give an ear. Do not take others for granted, please, I beg you especially if they truly love you.


8 thoughts on “(009) – Emotionally Starving!!!

  1. Real love accepts you as you are and never makes you feel inadequate or isolated. Falling in love is simple. Staying in love is work; a decision to always put that person foremost in you life. Yes, taking our loved ones for granted can have negative results, but it takes very little really to let people know how we feel.:)

    Also, I’ve met plenty of people that defy the male/female stereotypes we try to assign to everyone. In truth, men have the same complexity and depth of feeling as women. The sad fact is that not all of them are taught how to express it. At the other end of the spectrum, there are women, like myself, who prefer rational, logical facts for decision making. I’m as emotional as any woman, but I try not to let that emotion overrule sense. (balance)

    • Thank you dear Southerndreamer for the awesome comment, i love it and agree with all you said about love.
      Beside, as men, I think there’s a big difference between being emotional or expressing your emotions. We can’t be emotional because we are created to support women when they feel emotional, yet, we still have emotions and should express them or it’ll affect us and lead to some kind of depression.

      I like that you are rational and don’t only let your emotions take control of you, it’s what makes you different from all other women.

      It’s our nature, we can’t be the other way round but as you said, we sure can balance between the two things, our nature and personalities.

      Have a great day my friend. 🙂

      • Actually, I’d hypothesize that being rational/emotional are not biologically relegated to men/women. I think society, with the demands and ideology of what it means to be of either gender, what is accepted that is, that more than anything creates that perception of men as rational and women as emotional. We allow girls to cry, but reprimand boys. In a thousand little ways we create men and women to fill pre-set roles. I’ve met plenty of men and women who defied that. The men were often raised by women or had numerous female relatives and they learned that emotions were “okay” and maybe they don’t express it in the same way, but they might be more inclined to make decisions based on feelings rather than logic. On the flip side, women who are type A personalities that were either not treated as prissy princesses or eschewed that type of thing by choice will be more likely to defy convention. Some individuals, myself namely, derive a sense of humor and pleasure in being unexpected, in not fitting people’s preconceptions. Of course, the downside for those of us who don’t fit the preconceptions is that we are not always welcomed in society in one way or another. As I was a social outcast as a child, in a way this gave me great freedom to become who I wished, think and act however my mind wanted to express itself, b/c I realized that the true measure of self came from within. Since I didn’t fit in from day one and nothing I did ever made me fit in, I was free to simply be. Unfortunately, not every soul discovers this. Some do not find inner strength, which is why as a society, we need to be more understanding. We should encourage individual expression rather than cramming it into preconceived boxes.

      • I believe that men and women are two different creatures that are found to complete each other not to be like each other. Accordingly, they must have different qualities; it’s the essence of their existence. Perhaps, it’s just my background and the way I was raised, don’t forget that I’m Arab and you’re American. Nonetheless, women usually tend to be emotional because they are mothers, they have to have more care of their kids, the thing that we men cannot do. They’re privileged to have such emotions. On the other hand, men have to be rational because they are the ones that go outside and work hard, it’s really tough outside and emotions aren’t for their benefit. This is simply our history and culture, my grandpas were like this.

        Now, since it’s 2013 and with the eligibility of LGBT, things have numerously changed, I hope you feel me because I don’t want to go into details about this…
        However, my personality is completely up to me. If I am a man and want to live like a woman, then it’s up to me or the other way round. Take into consideration the cultural difference between our two worlds. Some acceptable behaviors here might not suit your society. At the end, you do what you see as right not what people see although I believe there’s only one thing right and another wrong. So, if you don’t fit in, then it’s their problem not yours.

        Anyway, I’d like to share something personal. I like girls who can make decision and take good care of themselves. I don’t want my GF to be only concerned about her hair and nails. I like her to be sensible and rational. Yet, she must have a feminine touch and here comes the problem. They can’t confuse these two things together. In my country, you either meet a masculine girl who can make decision and is mostly a man OR a naïve girl who only cares about fashion and stuff. You’d say it’s different outside but…

        Thanks for your comments dear, have a good day. 

        P.S. we can have a deeper chat about this on other website, if you want, let me know please.

    • “Our emotions need to be as educated as our intellect. It is important to know how to feel, how to respond, and how to let life in so that it can touch you.” — Jim Rohn

  2. You are quite correct about the social differences. However, I base my conjecture on science rather than any one society. Humans are remarkable creatures, possibly more adaptive than any other on earth. Studies have shown that while we are physically different, our minds operate in the same ways. It is the social input we receive which guides us toward embracing emotion or rational thought, and I believe we cheat both men and women when we do not support the effort of balance.

    There is no biological imperative that a male must be more reasoning than a woman. In fact, think of ages past when a man might thoughtlessly enter a violent confrontation based on something as small as an insult, die, and leave a wife and children. In order to survive, she had to be cunning, intelligent, and rational. Of course, given the times and strictures, many did not survive or only did so b/c of family or another male.

    While a romantic partnership is the pairing of two people, you are complete in person as you are. The other provides companionship and aid through life’s ups and downs. The danger of looking at another as “completing: one is that when you are sad or life is not going as you wish, it is far simpler to blame the other person for failing in this job when in truth the answer often lies within. This is not to say a greater degree of happiness isn’t to be found with a partner, but one should not define happiness based upon another person– it is a state of mind rather than an end goal.

    Likewise, while the female may birth a child, not every woman is “naturally” a mother. Some never show any emotional interest or skill. Others must learn the skill, even when the emotion is there. The same is true of men. Some men, whether through becoming widows, divorce, or other circumstances raise children on their own, so it is clear that it can be done and done well by males.

    I do not argue that one way is better than another, simply that to understand why things are, one must look at how they came to be and how the many influences around us affect us.

    • First of all, I love your long comments; it really takes me a good time to think of a proper reply, I mean they help me think before I speak. LOL 😀

      Anyway, before we became males or females we all were kids; we didn’t know anything but what our parents taught us, so it’s very normal to be affected by our backgrounds and our family’s culture, behavior and belief.

      Everyone on this earth has a purpose; God gave us qualities to help us fulfill these different purposes. Men are created in a different way than women, either it’s biologically or mentally. I think our brains operate in the same way when it comes to mutual actions like daily habits for example. However, the way men think is totally different from the way women think. Women have the ability to engage in many actions and get them all done at the same time, men don’t. Accordingly, there must be differences in evaluating and analyzing the problems we confront every day. Our responses are not the same which proves that our brains do not operate similarly.

      Besides, I don’t think we are complete, we need each other, we have needs that must be fulfilled or they’ll lead to a big mess. Happiness related to other people is not true happiness and will never be achieved. Happiness is a flavor, sometimes, it’s apple, orange, peach and so on.

      Excuse me to say any kid needs both of his mom and dad, a woman on her own cannot raise a kid in balance and so cannot a man. They both have two different roles, it’s irreversible process.

      Correct understanding is everything, I second that.

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